{"id":69536,"date":"2022-01-26T13:23:49","date_gmt":"2022-01-26T12:23:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/laindependent.cat\/aixo-no-majuda\/"},"modified":"2023-03-19T20:27:48","modified_gmt":"2023-03-19T19:27:48","slug":"aixo-no-majuda","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laindependent.cat\/en\/aixo-no-majuda\/","title":{"rendered":"Aix\u00f2 no m’ajuda"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

OPINI\u00d3<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tenir una certa edat comporta veure que els fills i filles de les teves amistats s’han fet grans.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Pel context en que ens movem, moltes d’aquestes criatures, ara adolescents o joves, tenen com a progenitores dues mares o dos pares o un dels dos \u00e9s trans o van ser adoptades i pertanyen al que se’n diu una fam\u00edlia monoparental (o monomarental, vaja). De tots aquests models, s\u00f3n poques les que no van ser q\u00fcestionades en el seu dia: aquesta criatura no tindr\u00e0 referent patern o matern, ha estat l’argument estrella; tamb\u00e9: se sentir\u00e0 diferent dels seus companys i companyes, patir\u00e0 molt… I per la via de la decisi\u00f3 materna: ja t’ho has pensat prou? Mira que una criatura et canvia la vida, que tu sempre has estat molt esbojarrada, que no tens prou suport, que no ho podr\u00e0s fer tota sola, que \u00e9s massa responsabilitat, que amb qui la deixar\u00e0s quan vulguis anar al cine o a lligar… perqu\u00e8, potser, a partir d’ara no podr\u00e0s ni lligar ni anar al cine, compta-hi, eh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I ves per on, he comprovat que la immensa majoria d’aquests nens o nenes ara nois, noies o noiis han estat envoltats d’afecte, de valors, de diversitat… i en cap cas, en cap cas recalco, han sortit millors o pitjors que els fills, filles, fillis de fam\u00edlies convencionals, ordenadament benestants, que mai van ser q\u00fcestionades a l’hora de decidir la seva descend\u00e8ncia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Escric aix\u00f2 perqu\u00e8 l’altre dia una bona amiga em va donar una lli\u00e7\u00f3 i crec que \u00e9s bo compartir-la. T\u00e9 una filla adoptada, de 17 anys a punt de fer els 18, que est\u00e0 embarassada i vol tenir la criatura. Immediatament, han saltat al seu voltant totes les alarmes, la de la mare inclosa. Tanmateix, passat aquest primer moment, i sota el criteri del respecte, la meva amiga decideix tirar endavant i en positiu, \u00e9s a dir, acceptar la decisi\u00f3 de la seva filla tot cercant la millor f\u00f3rmula per gestionar-ho de la manera m\u00e9s adequada i, sobre tot, sense dramatitzar m\u00e9s del compte. I comen\u00e7a per mantenir-se molt ferma a l’hora de repartir responsabilitats: ella \u00e9s l’\u00e0via i la filla \u00e9s la mare, cadascuna haur\u00e0 d’assumir la seva part.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

La resta del m\u00f3n, entre la que ens trobem les amigues, per\u00f2, segueix amb les mans al cap: li has de treure del… cap (precisament), no veus que far\u00e0s de mare? No veus que no \u00e9s gens responsable, que \u00e9s\/s\u00f3n massa joves… perqu\u00e8 el pare, que va cr\u00e9ixer sense figura paterna, manifesta il\u00b7lusionat que complir\u00e0 amb les seves obligacions de progenitor i si calen bolqu\u00e9s els anir\u00e0 a comprar ell. Qu\u00e8 tendre, oi?, Doncs nosaltres, les que ho vivim des de fora, tretze s\u00f3n tretze, seguim insistint i, amb aquesta necessitat visceral de posar-la entre l’espasa i la paret, li preguntem si ella ara tornaria enrere i aniria a buscar la criatura que, totes ho sabem, li ha sortit una mica papallona.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tot un martelleig que la mare escolta i encaixa amb serenitat, fins que et deixa anar: “Aix\u00f2 que em dius no m’ajuda”. Sense cap mala intenci\u00f3, tamb\u00e9 \u00e9s cert, les amigues hem abocat les nostres pors, les nostres angoixes i el que, sense tenir art ni part, pensem seria la millor soluci\u00f3: que la nena se’l tragu\u00e9s del cap i del cos. Potser si que ho seria, per\u00f2 \u00e9s que resulta que no es pot, que la noia ho ha decidit i no la podem obligar i, com diu la seva mare, “no devem fer-ho per respecte a la seva autonomia. O ens pensem que all\u00f2 de “mi cuerpo, mi vida, mi decisi\u00f3n” era nom\u00e9s per nosaltres i no per les nostres filles?”. Si \u00e9s madura per decidir avortar, ho \u00e9s per decidir parir i, no ens enganyem, si la noia vol tenir la criatura, f\u00e0cilment, al cap de pocs mesos d’un avortament obligat ens trobar\u00edem amb la mateixa situaci\u00f3. Tornar\u00edem a comen\u00e7ar tot el bucle?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Que li pot tocar fer de mare, ho t\u00e9 prou clar la meva amiga, per aix\u00f2, des del minut 1, s’afanya a posar cada rol al seu lloc. Que no \u00e9s prou responsable, ho sap prou b\u00e9 perqu\u00e8 \u00e9s la seva mare i amb aix\u00f2 haur\u00e0 de bregar, per\u00f2, sincerament, conec un munt de dones que han optat per la maternitat amb una irresponsabilitat de jutjat de gu\u00e0rdia tot i ser senyores assenyades i granaetes a les que ning\u00fa va q\u00fcestionar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finalment, la hip\u00f2tesi de si ella ara aniria a buscar la criatura no pot ser m\u00e9s cruel ni m\u00e9s absurda: per saber si ho faria o no ho ha hagut de fer, en cas contrari sempre es quedaria amb la recan\u00e7a de no haver-ho fet. Per tant, dir-li aix\u00f2, \u00f2bviament, no l’ajuda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fora molt m\u00e9s assenyat i m\u00e9s \u00fatil per a totes: mare, filla, \u00e0via, amigues, criatura, etc. posar-nos al costat de la nostra amiga mare que ser\u00e0 \u00e0via, afegir-nos a la seva postura vital i comen\u00e7ar a sentir com ella que, en mig de tanta pand\u00e8mia i tanta mort, que arribi una nova vida a casa \u00e9s, en definitiva, un homenatge a la vida. Perqu\u00e8 el que hagi de passar, per molta especulaci\u00f3 que en f\u00e9ssim, mai l’encertar\u00edem.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

OPINI\u00d3 Tenir una certa edat comporta veure que els fills i filles de les teves amistats s’han fet grans.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":49,"featured_media":37996,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26664],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-69536","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinio-vida-queotidiana"],"yoast_head":"\nAix\u00f2 no m'ajuda | La Independent<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"OPINI\u00d3 Tenir una certa edat comporta veure que els fills i filles de les teves amistats s'han fet grans. 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