{"id":67124,"date":"2019-06-13T13:10:52","date_gmt":"2019-06-13T11:10:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/laindependent.cat\/amors-malalts-que-no-malalts-damor\/"},"modified":"2024-11-15T17:13:17","modified_gmt":"2024-11-15T16:13:17","slug":"amors-malalts-que-no-malalts-damor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laindependent.cat\/en\/amors-malalts-que-no-malalts-damor\/","title":{"rendered":"Amors malalts, que no malalts d’amor"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

OPINI\u00d3<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tenia tan sols 29 anys i vivia al barri de Port Saplaya, al poblet d’Alboraia (Val\u00e8ncia). Es deia Beatriz A. H. Diuen les estad\u00edstiques que \u00e9s la v\u00edctima n\u00famero 1000 d’una llista de registre oficial que es va iniciar l’any 2003.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

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La veritat, per\u00f2, \u00e9s que hi hagut -i encara hi ha- moltes m\u00e9s dones mortes a mans de les seves parelles sentimentals, d’aquelles a les que es suposa l’amor havia de prevaler a la seva relaci\u00f3. Qu\u00e8 els hi passa a alguns homes?. Qu\u00e8 els hi passa pel cap?, ens preguntem…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Abans d’estad\u00edstiques<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I ens ho pregunt\u00e0vem a Igualada ja l’any 1996 quan es va comen\u00e7ar el suport a dones v\u00edctimes de viol\u00e8ncia en el que encara avui \u00e9s l’associaci\u00f3 de les Dones amb Empenta. Darrera d’elles sorgien altres associacions de dones a la comarca, com ara a Vilanova i a Piera, aix\u00ed com les Dones d’Igualada quins objectius varen prioritzar la den\u00fancia de la viol\u00e8ncia masclista que impregna la quotidianitat de la nostra societat, abans i tot de que Ana Orantes<\/strong> passes a la hist\u00f2ria per ser la n\u00famero 1 d’aquesta tr\u00e0gica llista aquell 17 de desembre de 1997.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sensibilitzaci\u00f3 i visibilitat<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

La den\u00fancia de cadascuna de les v\u00edctimes d’aquesta epid\u00e8mia i de les seves causes, l’exig\u00e8ncia de serveis d’atenci\u00f3 a la dona per donar-los suport quan volen sortir del pou on estan posades i que dif\u00edcilment se’n podran sortir sense ajut, o tamb\u00e9 algunes lleis com ara la vigent a Catalunya aprovada pel Parlament han estat aven\u00e7os, certament. No obstant, amb tot aix\u00f2 no n’hi ha prou, continuen havent-hi dones que moren a mans dels seus botxins i moltes d’altres continuen atrapades en la xarxa d’un fals amor.<\/span>
<\/span><\/p>\n

Malalts d’amor<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Perqu\u00e8 no tot el que es diu i es fa en nom de l’amor \u00e9s en realitat amor. De la mateixa manera que hi ha malalts d’amor de moltes coses (com ara Llu\u00eds Llach<\/strong> es declarava malalt d’amor pel seu pa\u00eds), n’hi ha que consideren que la persona que tenen al seu costat no \u00e9s sin\u00f3 un objecte del que pot disposar a plaer, una esclava que l’ha de servir incondicionalment en nom de l’amor, un a dona per parir (com diu la can\u00e7\u00f3 “Con permiso, buenas tardes” d’Antonio Mart\u00ednez<\/strong> – comparsa “Els Pirates” 1998), alg\u00fa que disposa d’ella en exclusiva (com segrestada) i a la que cal allunyar de tot tipus de relaci\u00f3 familiar o social, no sigui que li obrin els ulls i el deixi…<\/span>
<\/span><\/p>\n

Patrons masclistes<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Aix\u00ed els passa a molts homes impregnats dels patrons m\u00e9s masclistes heretats del sistema patriarcal i que, quan la dona descobreix per s\u00ed mateixa la seva v\u00e0lua (front la no valoraci\u00f3 que hauria de rebre de qui es suposa l’estima), a aquests homes que tenen un concepte malalt\u00eds de l’amor, se’ls hi gira el cervell i adopten aquells comportaments tan abominables que, fins i tot acaben amb llevar-se la vida ells mateixos despr\u00e9s d’haver mort la dona. Tot al rev\u00e9s, tal i com diu l’amiga Encarna Sant Celoni<\/strong>: “un home que s’ha su\u00efcidat despr\u00e9s, en lloc d’abans”, perqu\u00e8 si ho hagu\u00e9s fet abans hauria salvat la vida d’ella i -massa sovint- tamb\u00e9 la dels seus fills.<\/span><\/p>\n

La impot\u00e8ncia del seu entorn<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Qui tamb\u00e9 ho pateix, des de la desesperaci\u00f3 i la impot\u00e8ncia, \u00e9s el seu entorn. Familiars o amigues que coneixen els fets perqu\u00e8 ella els ho ha confiat en aquells moments en que l’ha volgut deixar a ell, per\u00f2 que ara hi ha tornat donant-li la en\u00e8sima oportunitat perqu\u00e8 li ha prom\u00e8s canviar: aquesta vegada s\u00ed que canviar\u00e9!, li diu, i se’l creu. Per\u00f2 torna a a\u00efllar-se de qui la pot comprendre i ajudar…<\/span>
<\/span><\/p>\n

Malalts els dos<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Els dos estan malalts. Ell d’obsessi\u00f3 egoista i possessiva, ella pensant que \u00e9s l’amor de la seva vida i que est\u00e0 disposada -si cal- a morir per amor: el vol a ell i vol estar amb ell; li diu a la seva fam\u00edlia quan intenten apropar-se a ella per ajudar-la… \u00c9s que ho viu com una alternativa incontestable i -certament, per ella- ho \u00e9s. La disjuntiva \u00e9s viure aquesta depend\u00e8ncia amb ell fins a la mort o morir possiblement a mans d’ell. Mentre estigui en aquesta fase malaltissa d’amor, malgrat com a adulta tingui el dret a decidir sobre s\u00ed mateixa, per a ella no n’hi ha una altra alternativa, sembla.<\/span>
<\/span><\/p>\n

Mentrestant..<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/span>Mentrestant, predicarem la igualtat, el dret a la igualtat de totes les persones, ja siguin homes o dones o qualsevulla de la diversitat de g\u00e8nere que reconeixem avui dia. El que importa \u00e9s que ens estimem i que cadasc\u00fa ho faci ho vulgui i li plagui, si conv\u00e9 malalts d’amor per\u00f2 en cap cas des d’amors malalts.<\/span>
<\/span><\/p>\n

El patriarcat ens les pren<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Per\u00f2 el llast ve de tant lluny que encara ens queden moltes, massa, v\u00edctimes pel cam\u00ed, unes consumades i altres anunciades. Dones assassinades per les que sortirem al carrer indignades, amb un dol amarg per la r\u00e0bia i la impot\u00e8ncia de no haver pogut arribar a temps perqu\u00e8 ella s’obr\u00eds a l’altre cara de l’amor, el que li oferim la fam\u00edlia i les persones que li som properes. Male\u00eft patriarcat que ens les pren!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 OPINI\u00d3 Tenia tan sols 29 anys i vivia al barri de Port Saplaya, al poblet d’Alboraia (Val\u00e8ncia). Es deia Beatriz A. H. Diuen les estad\u00edstiques que \u00e9s la v\u00edctima n\u00famero 1000 d’una llista de registre oficial que es va […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":50,"featured_media":66437,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26644],"tags":[50545],"class_list":["post-67124","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinio-drets-humans-drets-de-les-dones","tag-maribel-nogue-i-felip"],"yoast_head":"\nAmors malalts, que no malalts d'amor | La Independent<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Tenia tan sols 29 anys i vivia al barri de Port Saplaya, al poblet d'Alboraia (Val\u00e8ncia). 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